Desperate

It is at the point of desperation people will cry out to God.

It was the desperate in the New Testament who cried out to God… the father whose daughter was dead who cried out to Jesus, the lepers, the blind, those caught in sin, the thief on the cross, the outsiders, lonely, forgotten. They all cried out from their desperate state to the ONE and ONLY.

It’s been during desperate times in my own life that I cried out to God… when I was a teenager, wandering through life, so lonely, ready to end my life, the time of desperation when I left my comfortable life and served the Father overseas, facing brain surgery and the unknown.

Am I desperate now? Do I NEED God? Are we desperate as a nation? As a Church? As His people? Father make us desperate for you? This is a scary prayer to pray… but Father we NEED you. Our Churches, our cities, our families, our friends, our county, the world needs You.

Desperate1 a : having lost hope, a desperate spirit crying for relief. b : giving no ground for hope, the outlook was desperate.2 a : moved by despair, victims made desperate by abuse. b : involving or employing extreme measures in an attempt to escape defeat or frustration, made a desperate leap for the rope.3 : suffering extreme need or anxiety, desperate for money.4 : involving extreme danger or possible disaster, a desperate situation.5 : of extreme intensity

Christmas Tree

Yesterday, Marcus and I went and bought our first Christmas tree together. It was the first time in my life I’ve had a real tree. What a great experience it was. I felt like a little kid, walking around all the trees, looking for the “perfect one.” Picking each one up, smelling the different types of trees, measuring how tall each tree was by having Marcus stand next to each one. I feel like I missed out as a little kid of this experience. I can only imagine how magically and exciting it must be for children. Even though I am an adult, Christmas really does bring out the child in me. We took our tree home, and my amazing light man, hung the lights in the tree, and then we decorated it together. I love our tree. I love sitting in our living room looking at the tree and allowing myself to be a child again. I love thinking about the Child who was born only to die on my behalf.

“Mary, did you know your baby boy would give life to a 17 year old girl who was ready to give up on life herself? Mary did you know, that your baby boy would call this girl to Go to the ends of the earth to make your baby’s name known? Did you know that your baby boy would heal me of all my spiritual, emotional, and physical needs? Did you know how faithful your son would be to me, how he would give more than I could have ever asked or imagined?” Did you know that your baby boy would grant his favor on two individuals and allow them to experience the joys of life together? Mary did you know?”

November 12, 2005

November 12, 2005. The awaited wedding day was perfect. A day I will never forget. Father thank you for your goodness, faithfulness, peace, and excitement. Perfect- that is how I would describe it. Everything looked so beautiful and the day was ironically relaxing. That morning I got up and had breakfast with my best friends, two of them being my sisters. I had time to journal, read the Word, and share scripture and pray with Dani. After my hair and makeup was finished, I went to the church and was able to sit in the aisle alone and take it all in and enjoy the moment.

(Last year I spent a lot of time with exchange students, we had a wedding party back in May for the girls because they were all going home and couldn’t be here for the wedding. They wrote me notes to open on my wedding day. I sat in the church in my dress and read each note and remembered all the girls who meant so much to me. Thank you girls. You are all such a blessing to me. I miss y’all.)

Then, everyone showed up and pictures began. The groomsmen and ushers looked so nice in their tuxes and all the bridesmaids looked beautiful. Mom, you looked amazing.

The church looked beautiful- thanks Stephanie for all your work. Marcus’ Uncle played the piano for the Recessional. He is a Music Professor at Union University. He was so great. All the pieces he played sounded amazing. We showed a picture slide show of Marcus and I growing up, and the Bridal Party entered. My dad and I were next. I finally got a little nervous walking down the aisle. It hit me then. “This is your wedding day, you are the bride and your groom is waiting at the front of the church for you… The day is here.” We walked down the aisle and my dad gave me away to a man who has so many of the same qualities that my dad possesses. We began the ceremony in worship. The ceremony was truly a worship experience for me. As we were worshipping, I was overwhelmed by the Father’s faithfulness and goodness in my life. I’m alive. I’m alive. I am alive and well and I am so thankful that the Father allowed me to live and do life “for better for worse, in sickness and in health” with Marcus. The ceremony ended, and our marriage began with a kiss. “May I now introduce you to Mr. And Mrs. Marcus Pedroza.”

After the ceremony was over, and the pictures were finished, we took a trolley from the church to the Reception. Marcus and I stood on the trolley. People were honking, waving, yelling out their car window “CONGRATULATIONS!!” There were even a few people who took a picture of us from their car using their phone or digital camera. It was great!!!
I was so overwhelmed walking into the Reception Room. There were so many people there supporting us. So many old faces that I haven’t seen since childhood. So many people came who have inspired, challenged, and supported Marcus and me throughout the years. It was such a blessing to have my family, Marcus’ family, and all our friends there celebrating with us. There was food, lots of wedding cake, and DANCING!!! Marcus’ cake was two-tiered chocolate cake that had a globe on the top of the tiers. The globe represented our heart and desire to “Go” to the nations to make the Father’s name known and glorified.

I Wanna Dance...

“ I WANNA DANCE, I WANNA WRAP MY ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK AND DANCE”- Caedmon’s Call.

I love to dance and I love watching other people dance. I loved seeing the smiles on everyone’s face while they were dancing, whether dancing to the Electric Slide, doing the Chicken Dance, showing off their dance skills, being really silly (Nawsaw!!) or slow dancing to Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin. Marcus and I danced to “Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts, a song that really describes us. My dad and my dance lessons paid off. We did the fox trout and mamba to my Grandma Rita and Paw Paw’s favorite song, “Begin the Beguine” by Perry Como, in their memory. I will never that dance with my dad and the way he look at me. His eyes told me he was so proud of me, that he loved me so much. Daddy, I’ll always be your little girl. Marcus and his mom danced to “What A Wonderful World.” They were so silly. There were bets going that Marcus was going to drop his mom when he dipped her, he didn’t but everyone still laughed at the two of them.

The wedding and reception ended magically. Everyone went outside, formed two lines, and lit sparklers. Marcus and I ran through the middle of the people and sparkles and hopped on the trolley that was waiting for us. We stood at the back of the trolley again with our own sparkers and waved goodbye. As we drove away into our “Happily Ever After…” my heart was overcome with thankfulness.

Father you amaze me. “You have given me more than I could ever have wanted.” Thank you. You answered all my prayers… prayers I prayed as a child and as a woman. I give you all the praise and glory. Thank you for celebrating with us. I felt you so near. May our marriage bring you praise. Use us for your glory.