Learning to Love Again

Don’t know when it happened- slowly overtime so I didn’t notice, but my heart became hard. I became every selfish, overprotective of my time, my personal space, my personal business, my way of doing things, and with my money. I also became hard to the needs of those around me. Bein with my parents in Thailand helped me realize this hardness. I felt like I had become really hard-hearted especially when it came to giving money to others (beggars, etc). Watching my father freely give to all, my dad not knowing their story, whether or not the people really needed it, or my dad simply blessing people for their service with his generosity broke my heart because I was reminded of how I once used to be that way too... and how I missed being a giver and how I missed loving others.

Over the last few months I have begun to love again. One of the ways I’ve deliberately made a change in my life is by carrying around a change purse and having coins ready to give to others in need when I am walking down the street. Even this small act has made a lot of difference in my life. It feels good to love again- to get to know people, see people, and give to those in need. God gave me the spiritual gift of giving and I have not been walking in it, instead walking in sin. Due to my disobedience I wasn’t experiencing true joy and my heart became hard and calloused. I am grateful for Father bringing this to my attention because this was not who I wanted to be. Over the last few months I feel my heart changing- opening up.

My prayer is that I will continue to allow Father to show me how to love others. I want my life, time, money, etc. to bring him glory but I feel like I walk constantly in the flesh- giving into my personal desires. Anyone else feel the same? How are some ways Father has taught you how to love?